I ve never worried, now that is a lie
- Red hot chili peppers, under the bridge.
I was born out of a worry, the worry of an anxious mother to produce a healthy child.
The child was healthy alright, but it had a problem. Of the 46 chromosomes it acquired, it had an extra chromosome, made of worry genes. The function of these genes was to live up to its name. They utilized all the ATP's and proteins leaving me looking anorexic. It was a monstrous genetic dysfunction.
This 47th chromosome sums up my persona. So now you know that worrying comes naturally to me.
As a child, I worried because I called a teacher a “witch”. My friend with concern welling up informed me as a matter of fact that the teacher heard it! My friend also told me that “witch” was a very very bad word. …Bad words....witch…NO! Amma would be very very cross at me for using bad words like that. My friend added this frightening detail about my teacher, she yanked the plaits of little girls. That terrified me!
This piece of information gave me numerous bed wetting nights, mostly because of the incredible line up of night mares which were gory scenes of horror. I was Gretel, and that teacher was the witch waiting for me to become fat and then eat me.
I shrank behind the wooden benches hoping the numerous black heads worn in black ribbons and heads cropped in funny looking porcupine style would give me cover.
I was almost happy when the bell rang. It was like an answer to my fervent prayers.
Then she stood, unfolding herself into a full size horror as she combed through the class. Suddenly her face lit up in glee as a child’s would on seeing its lost teddy bear.My big eyes and her little eyes met. Fear rolled up inside me into a big ball.
“Arundhati! come here” she said.
The voice inside me rang “take her broom and fly out of the class, she won’t be able to catch you”. As I stood there uncertainly, trying to make up my mind whether to bolt out of the class or to reach for the broom resting innocuously in the corner of the class, She came to my desk and took me by her hand.
I felt a heat wave rising inside me; my forehead was lined with beads of perspiration. I was expecting her to shake me hard and curse me to be a stone.
“Arundhati, you have to sing “we shall over come” on the republic day which is on this Saturday. And do wear that red frock that you wore for your birthday.
“I have to give some more instructions so run along and bring your diary, I‘ll write it. Do show it to your mother dear”
My little mind was confused. All questions springing up and crowding my head.
I gave my diary to her, still expecting her to ask me why I used bad words on a teacher.
She handed over the diary to me with a warm smile.A smile was the last thing I expected out of that face! I then stopped and thought why I called her a witch. May be that was just a new word I had learnt.
"Teacher! is witch a bad word?" I asked putting on an innocent look.
laughing softly she replied "no dear, it just means a bad person..why you know any witch?"
I shook my head furiously, till my ribbon slipped down my hair.
She ruffled my hair and asked me to practice the song.
" We shall over come" I sang aloud not realizing the full meaning of it that day.
I skipped happily to my class, a smile cutting through my face for the first time in that hour. I usually smile a lot.
The worry gene has a codon which ensures that I can become unmindful of my worries twice as fast as I get worried.
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Monday, January 14, 2008
PUPPY LOVE
I saw him looking at me, he looked new to the place.
Well, he had to be new.Some one like him wouldn’t have escaped my attention. He had a calculatedly cool attitude that set him apart from his cronies, who always never seemed to have a job at hand and perennially lingered around the tea stall at the street corner.
He didn’t belong among his friends who were nothing less than dirty ragamuffins.
He had an air of sophistication and a cloud of mischief hovering about him. But it was evident that he had no family because he wouldn’t other wise hang around those bunch of gypsies.However,he sure had a high intrigue factor and I love intrigue.
It made me turn around and give him another good look.
The Brown hair was worn messily framing his handsome face which gave him a Lion like majesty.I could see a pair of clear eyes gazing back flirtatiously at me. I was trying hard to make out the eye color since I have a thing for light brown eyed people.
Before I could notice any other detail,to my utter embarrassment, his friends also were reciprocating my admiration.I don' mind a bit of admiration. But,they were quite vociferous about their feelings.They howled in acknowledgment of my attention and that set me off on my heels.
I think I had a humongous crush on him …you know…the typical kolly wood story where girl from decent family falls in love with a vagabond.
The next morning, I was looking out for him like a life guard at sea would, from behind my dad’s scooter which was sputtering and spewed carbon monoxide.Yeah I know..time to switch to a nano!
I didn’t see him. I turned and looked around trying to get a 360 degree view despite being mobile (if you call 30 kmph as mobile!) My dad brought the brakes on suddenly at the unexpected appearance of a figure which sent me almost flying above my dad as I was perched like a duck on that scooter, trying to spot my new amour. I grabbed my dads shoulder to steady myself, who was blasting expletives aimed at not only his sudden “crosser” but at this generation at large which was “useless and irresponsible”
And then I saw him...coolly trotting across the road, turning a deaf ear to my dad’s angry snorts but giving me that cool look.
I hate to admit it…. but heck...I was in love!
All days at school were now crammed with day dreaming and notes filled with doodles.
I noticed him every day, and he returned all my glances with equal earnest,
It was how ever disappointing that he never budged from that tea stall. Now he also became a regular there.
And then, when all my hopes of him trying to make the first move were dashed, I saw him lift himself off his post and follow me.
I was over whelmed with excitement. I walked slowly, lest I become too fast.He didn’t know where I live.
No one was at home; it was a good time for introductions.
I left the door open, entering my home. I put down my bag and sat with my legs crossed and hands folded trying to strike a picture of poise while waiting for him. He came in with such confidence that it seemed to me for an instant that he was the rightful owner of my home.He sauntered in and sat himself right opposite me.
He had light brown green eyes. I’ve never seen such a brilliant pair of eyes before.
It was obvious he was waiting for me to make a start.And I was as obliging as ever.
“Err...Hi…how would you like to be with me?”
As my uncertainty slowly disappeared,I continued
" If that question threw you off, let me tell you, that was the first thought that pushed itself into my head when I saw you.
uh..you look like some one who appreciates honesty.." I ended abruptly.
He grinned, letting out a gurgle like sound.
“That’s a yes isn’t it?”I asked happily.
He nodded his head for my benefit, clarifying my doubt.
“But now the problem is ma and pa...they need to like you too.”
He now looked at me thoughtfully and threw me the glance which said
“Duh! You know your folks! Not me”
He did most of his talking with those gleaming marble eyes of his. I didn’t even care to find if he was not dumb,nothing mattered as long as those eyes did all the talking.
Just then the door bell rang shrilly throwing both him and me into a state of frenzy. Him because he has never heard anything as shrill as my doorbell and, I because Dad was home!
I had to hide him, Pa would slay me if he found him home, HIM especially, the mongrel, the vagabond, the sudden “crosser”.
I pushed him beneath the sofa, thinking I would create a diversion so he could escape.
On entering my father remarked “Enna Ammu did you try cooking… the room smells funny”
I made my favorite disgusted–with-your–joke face at him.
Before I could give a smart repartee, the alarm bell went in my head as my dad bent to investigate the source of the funny smell.
I didn’t know if I should cover my eyes or my ears.I was suddenly afflicted with complete multi organ malfunction.
He crouched in the comfort of the darkness and shelter the sofa offered.
But a huge hairy hand went under the sofa and pulled him out from under the sofa.
I shut my eyes tightly preventing myself to be a spectator of any violence.
When I thought I didn’t hear anything for a time nearly as long as ones lifetime, I opened my eyes only to see him being ruffled by my dad.
I stammered in disbeleif...p...aa??!!
"Oh I like him, why didn’t you tell me about him before." dad said affably.
"Yo...u ..u like him…??" This time I stammered in happiness. I always stammer when I am flooded with emotions.
"Yes" He reminds me so much of Mozart!"
Mozart was dad's best friend.I first hugged dad.
And then I approached him…I ruffled his hair then pulled him into a tight hug.
“Beethoven!!!..... I love you!” I exclaimed.
“Woof woof !!” He barked delightedly ,licking my face.
That was approval enough from him for letting us keep him.
Well, he had to be new.Some one like him wouldn’t have escaped my attention. He had a calculatedly cool attitude that set him apart from his cronies, who always never seemed to have a job at hand and perennially lingered around the tea stall at the street corner.
He didn’t belong among his friends who were nothing less than dirty ragamuffins.
He had an air of sophistication and a cloud of mischief hovering about him. But it was evident that he had no family because he wouldn’t other wise hang around those bunch of gypsies.However,he sure had a high intrigue factor and I love intrigue.
It made me turn around and give him another good look.
The Brown hair was worn messily framing his handsome face which gave him a Lion like majesty.I could see a pair of clear eyes gazing back flirtatiously at me. I was trying hard to make out the eye color since I have a thing for light brown eyed people.
Before I could notice any other detail,to my utter embarrassment, his friends also were reciprocating my admiration.I don' mind a bit of admiration. But,they were quite vociferous about their feelings.They howled in acknowledgment of my attention and that set me off on my heels.
I think I had a humongous crush on him …you know…the typical kolly wood story where girl from decent family falls in love with a vagabond.
The next morning, I was looking out for him like a life guard at sea would, from behind my dad’s scooter which was sputtering and spewed carbon monoxide.Yeah I know..time to switch to a nano!
I didn’t see him. I turned and looked around trying to get a 360 degree view despite being mobile (if you call 30 kmph as mobile!) My dad brought the brakes on suddenly at the unexpected appearance of a figure which sent me almost flying above my dad as I was perched like a duck on that scooter, trying to spot my new amour. I grabbed my dads shoulder to steady myself, who was blasting expletives aimed at not only his sudden “crosser” but at this generation at large which was “useless and irresponsible”
And then I saw him...coolly trotting across the road, turning a deaf ear to my dad’s angry snorts but giving me that cool look.
I hate to admit it…. but heck...I was in love!
All days at school were now crammed with day dreaming and notes filled with doodles.
I noticed him every day, and he returned all my glances with equal earnest,
It was how ever disappointing that he never budged from that tea stall. Now he also became a regular there.
And then, when all my hopes of him trying to make the first move were dashed, I saw him lift himself off his post and follow me.
I was over whelmed with excitement. I walked slowly, lest I become too fast.He didn’t know where I live.
No one was at home; it was a good time for introductions.
I left the door open, entering my home. I put down my bag and sat with my legs crossed and hands folded trying to strike a picture of poise while waiting for him. He came in with such confidence that it seemed to me for an instant that he was the rightful owner of my home.He sauntered in and sat himself right opposite me.
He had light brown green eyes. I’ve never seen such a brilliant pair of eyes before.
It was obvious he was waiting for me to make a start.And I was as obliging as ever.
“Err...Hi…how would you like to be with me?”
As my uncertainty slowly disappeared,I continued
" If that question threw you off, let me tell you, that was the first thought that pushed itself into my head when I saw you.
uh..you look like some one who appreciates honesty.." I ended abruptly.
He grinned, letting out a gurgle like sound.
“That’s a yes isn’t it?”I asked happily.
He nodded his head for my benefit, clarifying my doubt.
“But now the problem is ma and pa...they need to like you too.”
He now looked at me thoughtfully and threw me the glance which said
“Duh! You know your folks! Not me”
He did most of his talking with those gleaming marble eyes of his. I didn’t even care to find if he was not dumb,nothing mattered as long as those eyes did all the talking.
Just then the door bell rang shrilly throwing both him and me into a state of frenzy. Him because he has never heard anything as shrill as my doorbell and, I because Dad was home!
I had to hide him, Pa would slay me if he found him home, HIM especially, the mongrel, the vagabond, the sudden “crosser”.
I pushed him beneath the sofa, thinking I would create a diversion so he could escape.
On entering my father remarked “Enna Ammu did you try cooking… the room smells funny”
I made my favorite disgusted–with-your–joke face at him.
Before I could give a smart repartee, the alarm bell went in my head as my dad bent to investigate the source of the funny smell.
I didn’t know if I should cover my eyes or my ears.I was suddenly afflicted with complete multi organ malfunction.
He crouched in the comfort of the darkness and shelter the sofa offered.
But a huge hairy hand went under the sofa and pulled him out from under the sofa.
I shut my eyes tightly preventing myself to be a spectator of any violence.
When I thought I didn’t hear anything for a time nearly as long as ones lifetime, I opened my eyes only to see him being ruffled by my dad.
I stammered in disbeleif...p...aa??!!
"Oh I like him, why didn’t you tell me about him before." dad said affably.
"Yo...u ..u like him…??" This time I stammered in happiness. I always stammer when I am flooded with emotions.
"Yes" He reminds me so much of Mozart!"
Mozart was dad's best friend.I first hugged dad.
And then I approached him…I ruffled his hair then pulled him into a tight hug.
“Beethoven!!!..... I love you!” I exclaimed.
“Woof woof !!” He barked delightedly ,licking my face.
That was approval enough from him for letting us keep him.
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