This is going to hurt just a little bit.

They tumbled into my hands, eight of them, four each from the lower and the upper jaw.I gaped at them with my mouth open, and I am sure it looked more open than ever. A hysterical sob escaped my toothless mouth.Almost simultaneously the alarm also let out a hysterical wail, which jolted me into a sitting position. My frantic hand went up to my lips and touched my teeth. They were all there, my pearly assets! I fingered each of them and tapped them gently to ensure they were still rooted to my gum.
Ah! What a relief it was to run the tongue over each tooth and caress it along the crevices and feel the life throbbing in each of them. Only an individual with a history of teeth like mine will feel life even through dentin and enamel.

Mom stepped into the room to see if I was awake and she smiled to herself when she saw me grinning into the mirror not out mirth but inquietude. She came up to me and said “May be if you didn’t spend all of your dad’s fortunes on your teeth, you wouldn’t have these dreams so frequently”

I faced her with fresh vehemence “May be if I didn’t inherit his Stonehenge like teeth, he would still have his fortunes” I retorted with my smelly mouth.

I have profound love for my teeth, thus worry about them quite frequently.

I had beautiful teeth as a child. Small, white grain like teeth arranged evenly in my rosy gums. It resembled an amphitheater with white seats on a pink, velvet carpet. Had I known they were only temporary; I wouldn’t have had elaborate rituals of burying my teeth and dancing around it, waiting for the tooth fairy to bless me and leave me presents.I distinctly remember the cheated memory. Neither did the tooth fairy bless me, nor did I get presents. Too bad my parents didn’t know of the fairy tale.

And thus started my affair with my teeth, which I didn’t know would last forever.

Twenty fell, 28 and some more grew. Each of it carrying with it a vivid memory of its downfall. Whenever the little one shook, I derived extreme pleasure from the biting pain that ensued the wrenching of it, out of the gum. Though small, it never failed to put up a fight,raising the pain of this effort many notches higher.I always emerged victorious (or loser?). I felt like a gladiator with the bloody catch, holding it up for all to see. My face broke into a toothless grin and there was always the taste of warm sweet–sour blood engulfing the place of the teeth.
My first science experiment started with this process of uprooting. I closely examined its morphology, the nerve ends and gummy flesh still dangling from the root and tried to search for a logical explanation for no particular question.

Then came the villains. The permanent teeth, they emerged like samurai warriors, the incisors, the premolars and the canines. They all bore distinct resemblance to the wonders of the world. The Eiffel tower, the leaning tower of Pisa, Mount Rushmore, and even the Taj Mahal,except that they didn’t look too wondrous in my mouth. This was the time when I was spiraling into teen age. The age when everything which was at the oblivion makes a startling appearance into the forefront. I was hardly ready for it. Not with teeth like mine.
Aren’t I glad to be living in the 21st century, where medical advancements can repair faulty inheritances?! My tryst with destiny began as I became a regular at the Dental clinic.

My orthodontist was a brave man. He was my first crush, not only because he was a doctor (I have a predilection for doctors) but he worked his way through a mass of enamel making them into what they should be. Teeth!

He barbed my teeth and I was to be entrenched for two years. I 'braced' myself for the rules which one had to follow during the period of the fortification of my teeth. No chocolates, no chewing gum, no biting with the front teeth and no meddling with the wire.

But the process took much longer as I had no respect for any of the afore said rules. This augmented the anguish for the three of us. One being the dentist uncle, who was now weary of my raw resolve to make life harder for him by breaking the metal things that were stuck to my teeth; my father, who was now lighter in the wallet but heavier with desperation and of course the protagonist who had to face the harsh lights, the drills, the pricks and the ceramic stuffings.All this taking place with the mouth wide open, the sides drying up, saliva threatening to drool and a pair of hands in the mouth. Certainly not a picture of poise and grace.

In between all this were cavity fillings, root canal treatments, some more cavity fillings and refillings. I was now quite a regular and was among the popular patients at the dentist. I was the steel girl.

After what seemed like centuries,the show did come to an end, and to the delight of all I regained the amphitheater, which was now worthy of a good smile. The numerous trips to the dentist went on to do me some real good apart form the sparkling set of teeth now I proudly own.I am a changed person.I brush twice a day, use only fluoride tooth paste, floss regularly and appreciate Ogden Nash.

This long toothy history left an indelible memory which keeps revisiting me in my dreams reminding me of my dark days. But my friend, I am ready for a tooth and nail battle. I fought it once, I can do it again. And this time with wisdom.

If you liked this, read this and amuse yourself further.
http://www.ee.nus.edu.sg/~teokh/dentist.html