Episode 2: Fiddle -de- dee ride!

Now… now… bus rides can’t be all that bad! It is the life line of the city. And once you become a regular, the conductor becomes your great friend, and as a sign of he bond you share he will stop the bus even if it’s not the stop. This is especially a blessing when you are running behind a bus at a speed that would put Marion Jones to shame (sans doping!).

It used to puzzle me as to why they call this man who issues the tickets a conductor!?I figured that since he conducts people into his bus he is called so!
I find most of these conductors astute possessing a variety of talents. One is his mathematical ability, where he does all the arithmetic in lightning speed that too amidst chaos and confusion and the other talent he is endowed with is his musical abilities. The soprano parts especially enthrall the audience so much so that the bus halts in awe, and the serendipity of it is that the place where it was pulled to a stop is the exact same place you need to alight! Now if you don’t call that your good fortune what else would it be! And he is so kind that he uses his musical talents each time some one needs to dismount! Bless his kind soul!


The sights and sound that you chance upon when traveling in a bus makes it a very worth wile experience. The encouraging part is that, no one really cares if you are eaves dropping! And I shamelessly indulge in it and amuse myself, sometimes stifling a laugh or slapping my head at their stupidity or letting my sinews wrench in their troubles. Half the time I am half tempted to offer advice, but I know better than that, unless I want to be looked as something as dirty as a plumber’s fingernails!

By the way, always be on the look out for the dark corners in bus stops! There will always be a couple, cozily tucked in a corner, often holding hands and looking left to right from time to time in case of curious onlookers. If you notice, the girl’s back will always be turned towards you making you all the more curious! My heart goes out to these couples who can’t be exhibitive about their love!

Now, when the bus is stuck in an awful traffic jam, your only solace can be books or music because a bus is boring when it is static. But the others definitely don’t think so. Just when you are nearing the climax of the book, the neighboring fat aunty already encroaching into half of the seat will want to pick a conversation! And most often it starts off as a mumble about how late she is getting! And for being polite if you nod your head in agreement, she ll take that as a cue and go on! Not even giving you a moment to tell her that a fly went into her mouth!

In my last post I told you why it was of great importance to have a seat in the bus.
But I excluded the reason as to just why it was so (marketing reasons!)
If it’s a crowded bus, and you are standing, you will have your air supply shut off. Or you can be sautéed among the standees whose smells will make your face crease like a bull dog! If its long journey, you can even consider varicose vein a possibility. But most of all, there are some men depraved of sexual activity, who lurk around in crowded buses, targeting the unsuspecting who think “pavam he doesn’t have place...”!
This is where my trusty back pack comes into play! Any time I have to stand my back pack is my armour; any funny stunts…throw a cold stare and make sure the iron rod in your backpack gets him right there!

But there are also the ever so gentle gentlemen, who will relinquish their seat for you! But being the woman I am, I would never accept that offer! Unless I m going to be pregnant,an amputee or an 80 year old.
I can’t understand these women! They want to be treated on par with men, but they want reservation too, they harass the men to get off the seats, and place their derrières comfortably! Gleaming within with a sense of satisfaction! While the poor man who probably is back from work blasting rocks in a quarry willingly makes way for over grown squats! Sorry again boys!

But other wise, bus rides are a really pleasant experience; especially if a dashing (no pun intended) young man giving you enough attention to bring a little pink flush over your tanned cheek. So, if you have no other choice of transport, better learn to like the poor man’s rolls Royce, and indulge in the luxury it offers!...Bon voyage!